Pretty?

The owners thought I was getting kind of stinky, so I went to the corner pet store groomer to get cleaned up. It was okay but I didn't like getting my nails trimmed.
The bow was not my idea.
I smelled all baby-powdery for two days, but hopped into the shower the other morning to get my original wet-dog scent back.

Bandit

Grandma sent me this swell racoon, Bandit, for Christmas. Thanks, Grandma!
May I have another Bandit? I'm not sure what happened, but this one lost his nose.

Graveyard of Varla-ed Toys

Victim #5
Bandit only recently immigrated into this household, as part of the gnome's "underground railroad". HQ notified me immediately of his presence and I was ordered to eliminate him as quickly as possible.


Victim #6
Pinkie, aka the "Sandal" had been living in the area for some time making a living as an informant. I had leaned on Pinkie, myself, a number of times to get him to squeak about the doings of my various rivals. Alas, Pinkie had squeaked one too many times and clearly needed to be taught a lesson.

I am really not happy about this

It was late at night when I heard it. A strange click-clacking sound and a thump coming from the roof. I checked to make certain my owners were sleeping soundly before sneaking out of my Sherpa and heading to the main room of the house.

As I made my way to the living room, the click clacking continued, but was now accompanied by what sounded like heavy footsteps making their way in the same direction I was headed. The footsteps were moving faster than me, however, and by the time i reached the stairs they had faded off towards my destination.

The living room was bathed in the bluish-white glow from the big tree my owners had brought in a couple weeks ago and there, just under the tree, I could discern the movement of something small and quick.

I stealthily made my way around the couch to get a better look. The creature appeared to be a small gnome in a red suit with a matching hat. He had a bright red nose and a white beard and mustache and appeared to be messing with some boxes under the tree. While he worked, he mumbled a strange silly song ... something along the lines: "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, i'm telling you why".

Of course, as protector of this household I couldn't leave this interloper alone.

\

My new bed

Big day. I got to go for walks outside today! I met a spaniel on the corner - she was afraid of me. And, that dachshund was cute.

They took me to the pet store and I picked out a new bed - it's very comfortable and I took naps all afternoon. (But, I still miss my Grandma.)

Uncle Alex

Uncle Alex came over to visit the other day. Very quietly, so the owners couldn't hear - he told me of the secret plan to help me escape with him and Katerina. I'll keep you updated.

Grandma

One of the owners went to Tennessee this week and Grandma came to visit and to help take care of me. Grandma brought me some new toy balls; they squeek.
Grandma held me - it was nice to take naps in Grandma's lap.
I got to walk Grandma to the car and go with her to the airport - I cried all the way home because I missed her. But, then I got to walk to the pet store and got the owners feeling guilty and scored some new stuff (see above).

Loft conversion

Lots of news to bring you up to date. I've converted the Sherpa carrying case/bedroom by adding a deck to the roof - nice. [click my picture for a close-up]

The owners keep taking me to the vet. I like the techs and the doctors, but...
Let's just say that my temperature was normal, but the technique was disturbing.
And, today, the nice doctor is talking about how pretty I am, and then stabs me with a needle!

Good news, the doctor says I can go outside in a week and meet some other dogs!

I'm up to 6 lbs 2 ozs - I heard one of the owners refer to me as a heifer - I sure hope that means something pretty.

One of the owners tries to leave me every day for someplace called work - I've learned how to untie his shoes to keep him here.
He says he's going out of town next week - we'll see. But, I heard that my grandma is coming to visit from Florida - I'm going to be so spoiled!

Secret Agent VJ - Objective TP

Secret Agent Varla Jean reporting.

I received my first instructions this morning. Unfortunately, HQ could not tell me the location of my target. Instead, they directed me to the next-door neighbor, Uncle Andy, who they believed held its secret.



I used my feminine wiles to lull Uncle Andy into a false sense of security and then, when he wasn't looking, rifled through his coat seeking the secret documents he possessed.



The ruse was successful and I was able to discover the location of my target.

I had to exercise caution, as the homeowners had erected barriers to prevent my access beyond the kitchen. While they weren't paying attention I was able to steal away to the half bathroom off the living room.

Imagine my excitement as I discovered my long sought after goal ... the magic roll of top secret paper. I quickly grabbed a sample and fled to a hiding spot under the couch, using the radio transmitter secreted in my green chew toy to contact headquarters. Unfortunately, I was discovered.



I fled quickly to the kitchen, but was cornered by one of the homeowners, so I called upon my masterful judo skills and launched into a flying kick to enable my escape.



Uh ... I meant to do that. Really, that's not me lying flopped on the ground, that's the finishing stance for my Four Winds of the Flying Squirrel master technique. I'm perfectly comfortable. In fact, I think I'll just stay here like this a while.